Skate4Smiles in Memory of Dawson Ellert

"I was awake for the MRI."  Dawson Ellert - Feb 10, 2010

Normally, they sedate children for an MRI . . . we declined and hoped for the best.

The MRI started out pretty normally. We found our way to their beautiful new MRI center. It was only 9 months old and very modern, bright, clean and comforting. AND, they’d let one of us go in with him while the test was underway. I don’t remember why we chose Carla to go in. I do remember being disappointed though.

We went to an outside room where Carla took off all her metal and we put it in a locker. They had trouble with Dawson’s IV. It had started hurting even in Regina when they used it and when they flushed it, it stung quite a bit. They shot him up with some Benadryl because Carla felt he might have had some reaction to the dye in Regina. At this point, I left and went to the waiting room. I was only there for about 15 or 20 minutes when they came out in a rush to get me. What could possibly have gone wrong? Well, his IV had blown out and he was terribly upset and needed his Daddy. I was there in a hurry and got him settled down. Dawson rarely bared his teeth but he did on that occasion. His IV had hurt him terribly, yet when they took him out of the MRI he was very angry. He wanted that MRI done NOW – he knew he couldn’t have his surgery without the MRI and he wanted that tumour out of his head. I hated that tumor even more but was so proud of my son. PROUD? I had no idea what was to come. I thought I knew how proud I was of him but what he was about to show me was so far beyond that.

It took time to settle him down and then, he had to get a new IV put in the other hand. The Benadryl was working its magic too and he slept on a gurney as Carla and I watched over him.

Finally we got another shot at the MRI. They’d let other patients in as he was settling down and sleeping and we had to wait our turn. And I would get to go in with him. They laid him on the table and were just about to put the cage over his face when, in typical Dawson polite-speak, he said “um excuse me, but I have to pee”. The techs were most patient as I whisked him the washroom. Just lying down again, he pipes up again. “Excuse me, I know you’re busy but I’m really thirsty!!!” Not this time Dawson, let’s get this test done and you can have a drink, kay? “OK, Daddy”. And in he went. The cage was placed over his face, a couple of bumpers against the side of his head to hold him still and in the table slid.

Even after hearing about how an MRI experience would be, I wasn’t ready for what was about to happen. I had earmuffs on and it was still loud. Imagine sitting next to an arc welder or a big transformer but amplify that about as loud as your stereo could play it. But it’s not like a steady hum. It’s a series of short bursts over and over. Long bursts, short bursts, medium bursts, over and over and over and just when you think it won’t stop. It does. Then it starts again in a different pattern. And this goes on for about 15 minutes straight and if you move, you ruin the image and they start again. It was terrifying – well, maybe terrifying isn’t the right word. It’s more like annoying to the point you want to explode after a while – enough to drive you mad. I couldn’t imagine lying in that tunnel listening to this and not be able to move yet here, in front of my eyes, was a little eight year old boy, lying motionless, knowing the value of the test he was undergoing and he NEVER flinched. I cried. I sobbed like I never have before. And it was pure, intense pride. This was a child, inside an incredible, yet horrible machine, and he was taking it like he’d done it every day in his life. My son was showing me his true colors – what he was really made of. I remembered clearly at that time, thinking back to a point in his past wondering if he'd ever be able to sit still.

Late in the test, I could see his nose was getting itchy and you could see he wanted to move his hand up to scratch it but he didn’t. I looked back at the techs in the control room and pointed to Dawson, then to my nose like it was itchy. The lady put up one finger and mouthed ‘one minute’. I put up one finger to Dawson and he laid still. I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. Then when it was all done, he just wheeled off that table like nothing happened.

It was a humbling experience for me. I’m not sure I could have done what this little man just did. It literally left me shaking my head in wonder.